Trying to climb back into

the what was before

like constricting my skin

into clothes that don’t fit anymore

It’s hard to believe that nine months

could manifest such emptiness in

spaces that didn’t exist before

But you came into my life

like a gift un-foretold
blessings I didn’t earn

so shocked to discover this
hold they have on me this
infinite yearning to take care of you
sketched into my life oceans
of meaning heretofore unclaimed
watching you fight those black days
so familiar to my own unforgotten
nightmares I held my affections out
with incredulous fingers figuring
my love a paltry thing ineffective as
gauze to a gunshot I thought would
never ease your pain but had to try
had to let rhymes and oils and paint
do what my arms ached to had to
acknowledge all the beauty I see
in you and I will forever be on the
quest to be the one who doesn’t
disappoint you to be a fixed light
in a starless sky to honor this love
I’m entrusted with to do right by this
gift of your kinship I find I am pained
that circumstance is such a fickle bitch
that time is the fix I can never force
through enough veins to sustain the
high your smile gives just know that
my heart-strings will stretch galaxies
in symphony with yours and if it hurts
the symptoms are worth the source
that you are precious to me that soulmate,
mother, and brothers aside I have not
been so afraid to lose someone not
been a slave to that resurrected dread
that the wound would (once again)
be almost too much to bear
so I cling to what I know is true
that God does not give us gifts to
be cruel that our story is destined
to be beautiful and the joy is in the
journey and for you, Blood Brother,
my devotion is as unfailing as the
current it flows from my spirit’s song of
freedom from the monsters that crave to
haunt us I love you from a place of calm
of peace amidst the storms of quiet amidst
the mourning I’ll take your hand and we’ll both
walk this path with heart-strings stretched and
syncopated steps from present endings to even
greater hereafters.