There’s a reason
I took to you
You were the girl
crouch-kneed
in the corner
I was the ghost
on the moor
You arranged dolls
gym class popularity
order on the bathroom
floor I loved him
for what I saw
We both clung
to silence as
to an absent father
sometimes pressed so
spirit bone deep we’d
feel the need to rattle
pots break glass scream
our voiceboxes hoarse
in starless storms where
he was nowhere to be found
You and I know the
Greek myth purgatory of
grieving the loss of the
living having failed him
already though the home
of his body was within reach
you knew the only thing
to do was hum lullabies
in salt-soaked clothing and
let your eyes swell shut
that surrender to the inevitable
the only two good choices
this false hope-held breath
or false pretense of healing
every lowering rock or
grey sky a mockingbird
every cave you let your
legs bend inward a
reminder
that if you let yourself
be honest about
how much you miss him
you’d let sulfur streams
surround you let the
roof fall snuff out that
impostor pinhole of light
and let the cave
swallow you.