Hey Love, I know you probably know this by now but most of the poems I write aren’t solely about you. This is just me, dealing with more of my inner shit which, whether for better or worse, you’ve made me aware of; that I put myself through this hell with the people I love the most, and I gotta work through that. So, this is me working through and also ( if you read this ) reminding you of what I probably don’t have to tell you, which is how much I effing love you, like my own flesh and blood, like family. And I always will. 

 

I’ve learned
Love and Pain
are cyclical
they are kissing cousins
ashamed of the way they
can’t keep their hands off
each other
seemingly cannot exist
one without the other
Love
you built like a storm
gathered just noticeable
on the horizon
Moved
too quickly for me to
take any cover
–You–
were the
swell that cracked the levies
the grandmother who let the
wolf in
I feared to feed him
knowing that when he’s
fat and comfortable
he’ll awaken to heavy
stones sewed into his belly
Shocking
Irrevocable
where once he had only felt
Full
where Pain crowds space
like a dance partner stepping
out of tune
tattered slippers
bloodied toes
I have
felt that Weight
–too full of your Absence
to move–
scraping my soft insides
against sharp edges
Sutured in
where your once
coveted
I love you’s
had been
Now I learn to exist between
Chaos and Calm
those Stitches cradling
Quarries of regret come
tumbling out
when I
loosen the ties
I try
to Bind you with
feel less heavy
if I
Splinter the box
I’ve Fought
to keep you in
I replace
Fetal positions
with Faith despite the
marshes of
demon whispers
I’ve fallen
in
Learning
Pain is the
Love child
of Expectation
things Hoped for
or
things Lost
Cannot Be Replaced
only Found again
and before I
clung to
any of that
my Love for you
was the Same
as it was
will be
has always been.