Today
I remembered when
a hand reached around
this door frame
warm fingers over mine
like I
was something exquisite
to touch

I remember when it didn’t hurt
this much to stare down a
crowd
wonder if I’d see you
there

When I didn’t dread
locking eyes with her
a face so like yours
now I can’t shrink into
corners far enough to
avoid
those
eyes

I wonder
how I was good
to anyone this
year
despite what they
tell me

Grief persists
whether or not the
blame is assignable

The Void
won’t fill
where only
You
fit

It is a heavy
hollowness
Congratulations
you’ve taught me
something new
How we hope
because we have to

How I’d just as soon
remove an organ
as recollections
of You

My love
for you
a voice box with
no lungs
still singing

Thoughts of you
elbow into
every quiet space
I pushpin them to
a thrice-opened wound

Too full of the loss
of You
to feel anything
but ocean floor
When I remember.